Six Rules for a Successful Relationship

A healthy relationship is paramount to your happiness and wellbeing.  A good relationship builds you up and helps you achieve your goals. It is there for you when things get tough.  A bad relationship can destroy your self-worth and damage you severely.  No relationship is perfect, but once you both get these rules down pat, it really can be pretty easy to have an incredible connection where the sky is the limit.


  1. Make your partner a priority. Many people have a real hard time with this one.   People often put work or their children in front of their spouse, or even their friends.  Remember: your partner is the person you have chosen to build a life with.  You will change jobs or eventually retire.  Children move out of the house, and the best thing you can ever teach them is what a healthy relationship is.  Your spouse should be your partner in life, listen to them, if they say they need more time with you, make it.  If they need to set a limit on something, try to meet them.
  2. Do not say negative things about your partner to anyone other than your partner or a professional.  It reaffirms your negative thoughts.  It brings you closer emotionally to the person you are talking to and farther from your spouse.  Also, once you move on from the issue, it is more likely to be brought up again, and that will not help your relationship or your friend’s opinions of your partner.
  3. Get on the same page, set goals together or do something new together.  Feel like your drifting apart or have nothing in common?  Struggling to make conversation after you’ve caught each other up on the day? You can change that.  Find something you’re both interested in be it getting your finances on track to buy a house, planning a trip, or taking up a pottery class.
  4. Learn your love languages of your relationship and do at least one thing each day to tell the other you love them.  The power of positivity is strong.  If you want to be treated well, treat your partner well.  Let them know you love and appreciate them.  If you do not know what makes yourself, and your spouse feel loved you can always check out: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/  they have a free test to find out your love language.
  5. Pick your battles. Try not to sweat the small stuff. No one likes to argue all the time, and it is easier to jump from one fight to the next when you do.  If enough small things pile up into a real issue, have a conversation about how you would like to see progress on them.  Instead of focusing on what negative things your partner is doing, make sure to comment on all the positive ones.  See: How to Fight Like a Pro! Conflict Resolution and Forgiveness
  6. Change your response, not their actions.  Relationships give the opportunity for positive change within yourself. You can only control yourself, and they are an individual.  Instead of focusing on them doing something or the lack there of, bring your energy to finding solutions or peace with how things are. People respond much better to asking for help in a loving manner than complaining why they never do something.  Remember: Our partners can not read our minds, even if sometimes it feels like they can, you need to communicate your needs.

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